From Seas to C's

Yeah, it surprised us too.  Not only was 'the' Zephyrus planned to be taken from her watery home to be passed on to another captain in the upcoming year, but the morning hours before her final lift (on a sleeting snowy October morning), I told my husband the words that a man both dreads and anticipates every moment of his life, until it actually happens.

Corey, you and I are going to be a daddy and a mommy.  

The news of which, I had only officially discovered the previous day.  Most ask if it was planned, I say yes and no.  Depends if you're looking at it from a human perspective or a God of Jeremiah 29:11 perspective, promising that "He knows the plans He has for us." You see?  Life is truly never black or white, most often it is white.  White being made up of all the colors existent to earthly life.  But it only appears to us as white and blank if we don't realize its delicate composition.

So, regardless of the whys and hows and the yes or no behind a lot of life, it just simply is.  And we processed this news for a time before telling the world of its happening.  And the happening continues.

On a side note, I once read a quote, "If wombs had windows, there would be a lot less abortions."  I have to say, I am coming to the depth of realization that much like our dreams and fancy endeavors get birthed in our minds and are a process of 'becoming' a reality, so are these little lives that grow inside women's bodies, containing all the DNA necessary in it's initial formation at conception to literally become an individual being, delightfully unique and incredibly, a miraculous human life.  But, much like our seeds and dreams planted within our hearts, these little ones so often don't get acknowledged because they are too hard to grasp when they are still in process of formation.  And all their potentials get wiped away for the sake of inconvenience or when the "decider" is faced with the challenge of discipline to let a dream, let a child, grow into living and a tangible reality.  As I watch my belly move forward from its usual position, I realize, no matter how much I can't truly grasp this life inside of me, it doesn't take away from the straight fact that it is still there living and breathing within me, with all the DNA to become the first born child of Corey and I.

Which brings me to the title of this blog. "From Seas to C's"

This morning at 5am, I began to marvel at the events in life leading up to the present.  I once quietly famed myself for being an expert adventurer, fearless and ready to take on all the untouched corners of the world, whether in thought or in action.  To look at a seascape and delight at the wonders of an endless horizon or gaze at an atlas into the realm of lands not over-touched and trampled by the common feet of tourism.  Oh adventure, I would sigh, and seek out the next dream letting it come to life with a little sacrifice and a lot of zeal.

All of the sudden, in the best way possible, all these memories of traveling the world with low cash and a stack of clothes, and being an "adventurous" sailor without much experience living and facing the turbulent unpredictable waters of Northern Michigan, became, laughable.  I almost sit endearing myself, as a grandma might look on a grandchild sharing their big wild dreams, knowing, not only can those far away dreams become realities in that child's life, but that there are depths even beyond that current comprehension of life that can and will occur.  But the child's dreams cannot be condemned for being "too shallow" or "undeveloped" because that loving grandma realizes the innocence and inexperience is not any fault of that child, but merely a matter of timing and age.

Many friends of mine are now becoming world travelers and independent adventurers of their own kind.  At times, I look with nostalgia at their wide-eyed looking [at the world], because I absolutely have known the feeling.  Yet, though we share a birth year, the series of events in my life has brought me through years of traveling the world for years [plural], finding a husband, settling into married life, and having a child, all by the age of 23.  And my appetite for extensive lengths of travel (here meaning travel as a lifestyle, not a vacation), has been filled and over filled, and no longer causes me hunger pangs. 

A new adventure lay ahead.  C's.  

C's meaning ABC's.  Meaning, that which is bringing a life to life, and not just hoping to attain some standard of living, but as a family, to have a thriving life with experiences, effective communication and above all, loads of love.

I sit in our apartment/upstairs of a duplex house.  While it feels like home, because I have a habit of learning to quickly make anything with four walls and a roof feel like home, I realize how unprepared we are physically for this particular journey.  Yet, when I speak to the man I've been blessed with to have at my side, I am reminded that our lives have only ever prepared us for this time.  This time when the life no longer becomes about "us" and our wants and needs, but about the "us" as a composite being made up of three parts, a family.

A huge part of this, is the fact that Corey graduates with his MBA in May, and we'll have a baby in June. And we have planned to leave this region of the world and head to someplace with a similar coastline experience, with a lot less snow and a lot more opportunity for a zealous entrepreneur.  Meaning, within a few weeks of our baby being on the other side of my skin, we might leave and go someplace else.  Why not? 

There are a lot of ideals and "would-be-great-to"s, but then, I recall, life gets comfortable, and extremely boring.  To try to strive for the Brady-bunch big happy family, without any productive arguments, a nice well equipped house, a steady income, with two cars, a cat or a dog, and bringing pies to the neighbors....I dunno, at first, I felt all these inadequacies in our circumstance....but then...I realized, the inadequacy and imperfection is what makes it interesting.  Interesting to at least write home about.  The stuff comedy and laughter is made of.  Absurd things.  Oh yeah, beautifully rugged and characterized, life.  

I think of our only car with its cracked windshield, and bucket seats (I don't know if a car seat will even work there) and things of that nature, then I think of our parents who are positively freaking out to become first-time-grandparents and help in any way necessary in that process.  I think of our lack of anything child related on our bookshelf (the physical bookshelf and the mental one), then I am reminded of our church community with dozens of young families having [plural] children.  I realize that any inadequacy I see, is only a perception of some "society standard" of magazine-like idealism, which in reality kind of sucks.  I see that we have been given all the necessary tools to handle the basics, and from there, our abundance of creativity and communication can figure the rest out, not to mention Philippians 4:13 as the foundation.  

Improvisation is a thing Corey and I thoroughly enjoy. 

So that's our adventure these days.  Who knows what will happen, where we'll end up?..

Only God knows...of that, I'm sure.

Many blessings,

M