From Crazy Coconut, To Clarity

Things certainly have a way of turning around.  Yesterday, I sat before my computer and attempted to write a blog.  Starting off on how "different" this blog would be than most, in an attempt to process the heavy weight of mid-winter, uninspired, drabby, frumpy, blah.  However, I was most wonderfully interrupted by a series of people and events that brought a complete 180.  You should thank God with me, that neither of us had to ponder such depressing perspectives for more than this introductory paragraph, and we can instead, move onto things that are worth dwelling on!

So before the 'revelatory realization' is approached, I must put into context what the past several months have been like.  Imagine the girl who does things to make her husband roll his eyes in a "I appreciate you, but I can't relate" sort of way at her flowery dress, dancing, scarf twirling, music video making...among other passionate displays of creativity like singing all over the scales without anybody stoppin' her--to no tune 'cept her soul, or painting and scribbling swirls of color just for the sake of smiling....on and on.  I have experienced life as that girl for years now....up until lately.

Just to show you how random and attracted to color I can be at times, here are two excerpts of a spontaneously inspired lifestyle, that was very much, Mega-Me. And I believe, will return full measure, in a brief passage of time.

I wonder what all the grey-ness is about in my life, then out of nowhere one day, I realize, I am on a journey to discover the gentle and quiet Meg.  The one who zealous and radical Meg hasn't allowed to live, because Radical Meg has always associated gentle and quiet, with uninspired and lame. Well, one day, this Radical Meg, marries a Stable Corey...and the rest...isn't quite yet history...but an extremely humbling process towards the eye-opening reality, that quiet stability also has it's roots in deep wells of passion, however, on an entirely different playing field.

You see, this Stable Corey has Radical Meg's best interests in mind.  Therefore, he challenges her, not with his words, but by his consistent living patterns.  Her observations of such patterns have shown her, the reality of dreaming versus doing.  Stable Corey does things he is passionate about, while Radical Meg often dreams up thousands of colorful dramatic displays of her passion, and shortly succeeds in following them past the first few stages of action and necessary refining improvements.  When these stages get past the strength, zeal or inspiration of Radical Meg to continue...she just finds something else to dream up and follow shortly. 

Well, Radical Meg has gone into hiding, and during these months, she has discovered what First Peter refers to as the "imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit", and what James encourages for the "sister (or brother) of humble circumstances".  I asked myself this morning, 

"Is it not humbling to lack inspiration?"  The answer to that question, is yes.

These humble circumstances...do not quite mean zealous improvising passion.  Actually, it has started to look something more like trying to learn everything from scratch.  Feeling like a child as I sit on our new Mac Mini...realizing that everything I have ever known about computers...equates to nothing.  I can't just dive into photo, music, or video projects...I must first learn how to acquire basic computer functioning skills.  Of course, I realize, in the long run this whole Mac thing will allow so much more freedom and quality to these interests, but that whole process thing, is what I have often equated to "destroying the inspiration."  Well, is inspiration really worth following if one is unwilling to learn allllll facets to their dream?

These humble circumstances...actually...form sustainable, imperishable quality in the skills and passion that already exist...but in a whole new approach.  These humble circumstances, bring this sort of refreshing childlike discovery, when I realize how I can navigate between screens with a swipe of my fingers, or researching the necessary upgrades to my music recording equipment.  These things are what creates harmony, BALANCE, and beauty.  It just takes a lot of humbling on my part.  Honestly.

Which is great, because this son of ours keeps growing, fluttering his little body around inside my belly, reminding me, that acquiring balance is one of the most necessary parts of successful-beyond-just-surviving, life abundant.  Abundant life, requires humbling, and it creates a lot more than nice pictures or music videos, but a sustaining character behind it all.  

And who doesn't want a mommy with some fascinating multi-layered character combined with sustaining stability?  Well, I sure hope Danforth does, because that's what kind seems to be in the making...

By the way, our entire future is a mystery.  Everything about it.  We have no option but to be excited about it, and quite a bit freaked out.  I can say, where most people are trying to figure out what kind of crib or stroller they want for their baby shower, I end up just realizing...it all depends on where we're going to end up...so I guess I'll just figure it out later.  It could range from living in a motorhome in Austin, to a tiny apartment in San Francisco.  We're up for wherever "the path" aka God, leads us.

In all of that, we both came to realize, that by not knowing, by not being even able to begin to prepare for our future of career beginnings, home changes, and becoming PARENTS...it keeps us much more happy and focused on our present circumstances.  Where we have a comfy well worn home full of rugged furniture, where we have each other to spend long quiet evenings in deep conversation, and where our mode of transport is simply feet or a rusting vehicle.

As our month puppy sitting for my parents came to a close...I realized how easily cute snuggly beings can distract two people from each other.....well, in the best way possible EVER.  Hmm...though, I have to admit, I'm really glad to have our C&M sleep space again...no matter how cute it was waking to her doggy dreams or morning facial sniffing.......oh but seriously...she was SO cute!.....ohhh the wonderful conflicting thoughts of motherhood right??  Talk about an introductory session:

And where we are now, with the 3.5 month countdown to full time parenthood, along with graduation and career ahead, I can fully embrace days like today, when the sun comes out on a 40 something degree day...while my husband and I sit eating cheerios basking in the warmth....and though we realize the largeness of the climb ahead (ranging from careers, to learning Macs, to parenting)....we can just smile, soak up the rays, and enjoy each other.
 

May there be hope for you all during the grey days, cos pretty soon, the "Son" comes out and brings back alive-life, priorities, and peaceful clarity.

Many Blessings,
M