Formally Introducing: our Melody

In true traditional fashion as was with introducing Danforth, may the drum begin now to roll, and may I introduce to you, our daughter.....

Melody Esther Engelhart

Melody at 11 weeks

Melody at 20 weeks

For the story behind the name:

"Melody"

As previous blogs might express, this time in Austin has been a "season" of being rooted. And, despite all my aggravations with stillness, I haven't stopped recognizing how good and fruitful it is for me. Yet there remains an almost daily tug of war, and I recognize it might never be absent from my existence.  I am inherently drawn towards the free forming, unstructured, moment my moment, emotional ebbs and flows of living....the melody of the song.

This past spring, on a quiet sunny afternoon day, I sat outside pondering through sketching the verse below: 

This verse became a promise of the "reproducing" vision of the dreams I have for my own life, the seeds that will be planted by the life and growth God is working through me, from my own life's beginnings, through some of my greatest valleys, the present deserts of dryness...and onward.  All a place for God to show up and produce life in and through me. 

It has been a time for me to embrace that my music is an extension of my soul.  I almost exclusively write "melodies" and have a long way to go into the realm of composing complete songs with rhythm, bass, and other kinds of structure that make it complete and beautiful.  But this year, through the opportunity of being "planted" in such a musical city, these doors have opened and the process of structure and rhythm and composition are now beginning to take shape.

Of course, how this relates to childbearing?

Just as Danforth's name was reflective of a journey that brought Corey and I together, there was almost an immediate reaction I felt upon the quiet morning positive pregnancy test (taken on my very own birthday), that a girl would come, and Melody would be her name. --And of course, I entirely forgot about the rough sketch pictured above (only remembering the verse), until I came upon it shoved in between other random papers either during the time I began to suspect we might be pregnant or shortly after finding out.

Then if that wasn't straightforward enough, God had another unsuspecting twist to the story.  About a week after confirming our pregnancy, I was visiting Corey's parents with the plan to tell them the news in person. After I shared our pregnancy announcement video, for whatever reason, I immediately followed it up with "and we think it's a girl and I've been really thinking about the name Melody if so", to which Berta's reaction that followed was a jaw dropping, mouth gaping, wide eyed, absolute bewilderment.  You see, within a couple of weeks prior to this moment, there had been a night when she lay awake praying for our future children, when the name "Melody" dropped into her mind. She followed that thought with something along the lines of "okay God, if this is the name you've chosen then have her tell me". And the fact that the very instance occurred in such precision must only be confirmation of this name and of a God so intertwined with the fabric's details of our intricately complex lives. 

 As if God wasn't so generous to offer us physical proof and verbal confirmation of chosen names for both our children, both times, both ways. For this, I am ever grateful. 

I cannot now think of a more reflective summary of this journey's paradoxes of spontaneous beauty combined with a structured rhythm, that have actually created one of the most fruitful periods of life that Corey and I have yet experienced in our 5 years of marriage.  In many ways, it is Corey's career and work-week that have provided a structure that continues to aggravate me, but as I have slowly submitted and surrendered to this framework, I have also seen the beauty that results.  And he continues to embrace the dramatic highs and lows I continue to provide this family through the day-to-day joys and hurdles.

And my guess, is that our daughter might relate to that ever changing variety of expression of life's corners and colors.   So, together, may we always make this Melody together, as mother and daughter, and as the Engelhart family.

"Esther"

Like Berta felt prompted by the "William" in Danforth, my sister Elise felt prompted towards the "Esther" in our potential daughter.   Our grandmother's name is Esther.  She has been a pillar of prayer in our family.  She is one always backing behind the scenes in groups, her hands always busy in serving others.  My sister and I believe that while she often is "behind the scenes" that she has been on the spiritual forefront for many many years, praying over our lives, even, as she has shared, in the quiet hours of the night.  I could not think of a better way to honor the legacy and foundation she has been to this family than to pass that name onto our daughter.

Esther Bills, our wedding day 10/1/11

And to confirm this, my sister came upon this prophetic painting at a music festival, and immediately felt it was for Corey and I, and sent the painted canvas to us. When we opened it on our anniversary, I could not help but think this verse and picture is part of passing that inheritance and call onto a daughter, who has been chosen to enter into this world for this very time, and I believe will have a voice of influence in some form that she will be called to use at a specific time and in a specific way;

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance will arise for the Jews from another place and you and your father's house will perish. And who knows whether you have not attained royalty for such a time as this?"  Esther 4:14 

As everyone says, each child experience is completely different.  We aren't caught up in the giddy excitement and fear of the unknown, so much as a quiet and peaceful acceptance and anticipation of an addition in our family.  Perhaps one that has brought the most joy is imagining the transformation of watching Danforth as an older brother.  A role he has heartily accepted with his routine expressions of love and affection by hugging and kissing the "baby inside" my belly almost every day.  Upon now knowing we are "officially" having a girl, I feel so blessed to be able to look forward to the life-long relationship that is between a mother and her daughter, one that I have found often only becomes richer and deeper with time, conversation, and maturity. 

While this year contains quite a few variables potential to shifting this "stability" we've had, we remain walking day by day in faith, loving the now and trusting the next.

With love from, 

the Engelharts